I am a sucker for romantic movies. Whenever I go to a wedding, I cry sentimental tears. Since a little girl, I knew I was a hopeless romantic.
Growing up, I was always the hopeless romantic who found herself constantly lost in a daydream. I was fascinated with the idea of being in love. Perhaps because I spent a great deal of my growing up years watching Disney movies. As I grew older, I found myself trapped in an ideal I made for myself. And that made it hard for me to see reality.
As much as I was in love with the concept of being in love, I realized how terrified I was of love. I remember my first crush on my classmate way back in kindergarten. It was a hopeless crush, doomed from the start because I was the quiet kid who rather would read a book during recess.
I remember only telling one friend, who also happened to be my seatmate. Before I knew it, everyone knew about my little crush, even my teacher. From then on, I became terrified of relationships.
Falling in love is a frightening place to be
As I grew older, things didn’t seem to change. I found myself stuck in a world of disappointing relationship after disappointing relationship. My ideals were crushed. I found love a terrifying force to deal with, yet I was strangely drawn to it.
When it came to relationships, the years were tough on me. But I was stubborn, as I had always been. I found myself refusing to give up on this ideal I held since I was just a child. Hopeless romantics, as I learned, find themselves struggling in today’s heartless hook-up culture. Everything comes so easy, even sex. I was but a lost soul struggling to find my place in the world.
Being a hopeless romantic in a culture obsessed with hookups
What are the struggles of a hopeless romantic in today’s culture? Well, there are definitely quite a few.
#1 You constantly find yourself dating the wrong person. Remember the person introduced to you a few weeks ago? You initially found them to be very attractive, but he turned out to be a total jerk. As a hopeless romantic, finding love seems to be your ideal goal.
Yet I found myself constantly dating the wrong people and dealing with disappointments almost too much for me to bear. The good thing about dating the wrong people is that it only taught me what works and what doesn’t. [Read: 16 common relationship tips that actually ruin your love life]
#2 Love is never like the movies. I grew up watching Disney movies. Perhaps one big mistake every hopeless romantic makes early in life. But hopeless romantics always hold some sort of an ideal, a dream to strive towards. Early on in life, I wanted my romance to be like the Disney movies, or even one of those cheesy romantic flicks that were a guilty pleasure of mine.
Did I decide to stay with my ex after he cheated on me with four women and got one of them pregnant? No. Love may be held to lofty heights in the movies, but it almost never works that way in real life, and I am just going to have to deal with it. [Read: 8 famous movies that teach really bad lessons about love]
#3 Love becomes too much of an ideal and less of a reality. One of the most frustrating things about being a hopeless romantic is once you fall into a relationship, your ideals die altogether. While you tend to romanticize the situation you are in, you are blinded to the harsher truths of the relationship.
Many people perceive you as a martyr and call you foolish. Many hopeless romantics find themselves trapped in relationships that are either abusive or are clearly going nowhere because they stubbornly stick to their ideals. [Read: Does true love exist? 10 signs that might make you a believer]
#4 They dread the thought of dating. The dating game is a hard game to play especially when you find yourself to be a hopeless romantic. These days, the rules of dating changed so much that it confuses me even to this day. What happens when the person you date turns hot and then cold suddenly, or disappears after just one date?
These days, more people want a no-strings-attached relationship than pursue a serious commitment. This conflicts with the hopeless romantic’s ideals who are all about serious relationships and commitment.
The modern dating world is harsh, and too often the hopeless romantic finds themselves to be an old soul in an ever-changing world.
#5 You feel you have so much love to give that it scares you. When hopeless romantics find themselves in a relationship, they’re the more affectionate one in the relationship.
Hopeless romantics never run short of romantic gestures and sweet nothings. They do anything for the love of their lives. They give so much of themselves that they lose themselves in the process. [Read: 5 big reasons why loving someone too much actually kills the love]
#6 Hopeless romantics go through a period of being alone. After fighting yet another losing battle, hopeless romantics often experience a period of loneliness before deciding to get back into the game. It’s a repeating cycle that many hopeless romantics find themselves in.
#7 Hopeless romantics are most often attracted to emotionally unavailable people. The attraction of a hopeless romantic to the emotionally unavailable ones is dangerous. It often leaves the more vulnerable hopeless romantic frustrated and scarred for life.
The hopeless romantic most often finds themselves fighting a losing battle trying to win the emotionally unavailable person’s affections, often to no avail. Perhaps one of the saddest kinds of love in the world. [Read: 8 love lessons I learned from a 7-year relationship]
#8 Hopeless romantics often develop feelings for almost anyone given their ideal of love. Hopeless romantics are so in love with the concept of love they find themselves developing feelings for anyone they get close to or share a bond with. Oftentimes these feelings are quiet and unrequited.
#9 People think hopeless romantics are picky. When it comes to the dating pool, many people often think hopeless romantics are rather picky. This is why many find the hopeless romantics to be too lofty with their ideals and have too high standards.
Many hopeless romantics often face a hard time choosing their dates because they already have this ideal in their head which too often is out of touch with reality. [Read: How to stop obsessing about that one perfect date]
#10 Hopeless romantics refuse to give up on love. If there is one thing that drives hopeless romantics to stand up and try again, it is the concept and the ideal of finding genuine and lasting love.
Maybe a relationship you held dear failed and scarred you, that does not mean you should give up on love altogether. Hopeless romantics consider love to be far too precious of a thing to give up on.
[Read: What so hopeless about the romantic type of lovers?]
Perhaps the world needs more hopeless romantics to not give up on their ideals. The world can be such a cruel place to be in. After all, hope can be such an irresistible reality and the concept of love drives them. Love is beautiful and scary, but finding love, the real kind is worth the wait.